Cues & Clues To Children's Behaviors

A Guide To Raising A Happy, Well-Adjusted Child

I am a parent and a psychologist trained to work with children and their families. I have treated and guided thousands of parents and children during the course of my thirty years of clinical practice. Clearly, most parents were very motivated, caring and concerned about their child. But many parents were unsure of their parenting skills, and some had ineffective parenting techniques.

After repeated observations I was convinced that parents would benefit greatly by acquiring some basic knowledge about the environment conducive to children's healthy emotional growth, their common emotional problems, and effective strategies to intervene when the child does experience difficulties. Conveying that knowledge derived from my thirty years of clinical experience is the motivation for this book.

All parents desire to raise their child to grow up to be a caring, well-adjusted, happy and emotionally healthy adult. But achieving this result is not a given. Parents have to pay careful attention and be tuned in to the child's emotional needs. On the other hand some parents may become so focused on their parenting techniques that they may lose sight of the subtle or not so subtle messages that a child is sending through his behaviors.

The child's messages may not be easily understood, as the messages are indirect and not explicit. For example, the child may state, "I do not want you to go away from this house ever." The parents may not understand that the child is exhibiting anxiety and hence may not pay attention to his statement. His anxiety, fears and stress go unrecognized. Understanding, and recognizing what your child is telling you through his behavior and words, is an essential first step toward being an effective parent. In the book this is described under the heading expression.

The second step in raising a happy, well-adjusted child is to understand how a child matures emotionally and socially at each developmental stage. It is imperative to ask your child appropriate questions in a non-threatening way, correct his behaviors appropriately, and suggest alternate actions. These "strategies" for dealing with various behavioral problems are detailed in the book and will help you raise a happy, emotionally healthy, well-adjusted child.

At times you as parents may experience the same emotional problems as your child. If you are stressed, anxious, depressed or are having difficulty coping, it will be very difficult for you to respond to your child's cues and clues. Adults must be able to deal with their own problems in order to be effective parents for their child. Throughout this book coping strategies for parents are provided.

This book provides a great opportunity for parents, teachers, caregivers and mental health practitioners to increase their knowledge of children, and to recognize emotional and social problems. After reading this book, the reader will get an expert's view of a child's potential behavioral and emotional problems, and learn to understand their causes. By utilizing the information in this book, caregivers will be able to recognize the child's expressions of those feelings, and learn strategies to intervene and correct the problems.

Salma Bhalla, Ph.D.

"An excellent book for parents who are dedicated to the well being of their children!"
Pediatrician

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"A treasure trove of wisdom and solid knowledge..."
Psychologist

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"I highly recommend it to parents and all others who work with kids."
Psychiatrist

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"This book is a 'must-read' for parents as well as professionals working with children of all ages."
Educator/Parent